Guess Who Rescued Me????

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keys

Guess who rescued me?

My story, like so many others has a villain. He has worn many masks. His disguises are very deceptive. He can act like a total stranger but most often his tactic is to take on the appearance of someone I love. To have the appearance of someone I am supposed to feel safe with. He loves to get away with making me think that my pain, wound, or attack has come from someone who is supposed to love me.

When I was 5 years old I was betrayed by someone at my church. Someone who was designed by God as a mentor. I remember realizing that this was such a horrible thing that it would require something like army soldiers to come in with big guns and even a tank to rescue me. The view I had of a soldier was that they stand up for those who are unable and would fight on their behalf, all in a valiant rescue from the terror. I remember one day in particular that I was getting mad and even experienced hot angry sad tears as I waited.

“Why weren’t they coming?”
“Why didn’t anyone know to call them?”
“Why weren’t they coming to rescue me?”

Let’s fast forward to a time in my young adult life. I was betrayed by someone who promised to take care of me. I was older by now and even tried to go to the police. I kept thinking surely they can step in with all their authority and protect me from the terror. But again, I was left alone wondering ….

“Why weren’t they coming through?”
“Why didn’t anyone know how to make it stop?”
“Why weren’t they going to rescue me?”

Terror was winning again.

One day God was speaking to me. He was asking me about some of these things from those past experiences that were in my heart. He kept touching them and asking about them. I kept coming back with “Well he did/said… (whatever it was)” But He kept asking me the same question. Finally I was getting really angry. I was beginning to feel betrayed by God for a moment. Then He gently said, “I am not asking you about him, or him, or even the other hims….I am asking my darling…What you did to your heart with what he/they did to you? What did you choose to do with those things in your own heart? I want to help you let those go. I don’t want them to keep hurting you.”

This was one of those times that God came in revealed that His heart is really for me not against me. It was also a time that He revealed that my heart really matters to Him not just my being saved from my sins but for my heart to truly be rescued. My hurting, aching, betrayed heart mattered to Him. I know I say it a lot but He said in Isaiah 61 that He came to bring the good news, to grieve with the mourning, and to set the captives free. That they (I) would trade ashes for beauty and be a mighty oak of righteousness in the planting of the day of the Lord.
I know many of you have heard the Easter story over and over again. You may think you have it down by now. I pray that you don’t ever settle for that. I pray that you are asking Jesus to show you every day, every year even more how and in how many ways He has rescued you. It isn’t Jesus meek and mild that went down to hell and grabbed those keys on my behalf. It was an Almighty King! The King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He wasn’t messing around with making it look nice and pretty and appropriate for church on Sunday. The cross was violent, bloody and messy. He took all of that on for me. Then He conquered sin and He conquered death. I can only imagine what that intense scene was like …. Him conquering sin, death, hell. I wish there was a decent movie representation of how I see Jesus as a warrior especially in that moment. I know He is all things but I think the meek and mild has been way overstated and way overdone to the point of it being blasphemous. Ya… I’m sure Ill hear about that statement from someone. But I am not interested in winning any popularity contests. I want to be real and alive with a real live Jesus in my life here today. I want to offer the same amazing rescue to a hurting, lonely, orphaned world. The world needs a valiant rescue. There are Christians out there who need a valiant rescue. Christians who are saved by grace but they do not really know Jesus personally. They do not have to whole story. They do not know that their hearts matter and that the pain, betrayal and abandonment they have suffered matter to Him too. He came to be with us in all of that. I keep hearing that message that Christ suffered and asks us to suffer with Him. Well He did and He does but the message I have heard from quite a few churches really skews that scripture making us question God’s deep heart for us. That is wrong! He saw that we were suffering, grieving, imprisoned and decided we needed someone to come along side us in our sufferings…not only that but to take our place and on our behalf.
Take time this year to not settle for the same old Easter story. It was a valiant rescue.

Do you know ALL of your own story?
Did you know that your heart, not just your sin matters to God?
What does your rescue really look like?
Ask your real live rescuer to answer that for you?

Wife Tip of the Day…..revisit

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Loving a man. What does that look like?

I tried to send a movie clip but of course it was too big. It was from Cinderella man. He is getting ready to go to the big fight. He may lose his life. There is a lot on the line. Her and the kids go to see him off. You can see the pain in his eyes as he reads hers. He does not have her support.

After dropping her kids off she goes to the church to pray. She gets there and says, “I am here to pray for Joe.”

The preacher says, “so are they” and you can see the church is packed. “They all believe that Joe is fighting for them.”

Like I said there is a lot on the line. I do not remember the whole jist.

She finally realizes this is so huge and he can not do this without her support. She goes to Madison Square Garden and sees him before the fight. She says, “you can’t win without me behind you”. He says, “that’s what I have been trying to tell to you.”

She gets close and looks into his eyes and her tender mercy comes for him fiercely as she starts to speak out who he is. Reminding him, he is the bulldog of the county, he is the pride of New Jersey, he is the hero of his children and the champion on her heart. She of course, is outstanding and says it better. You can see him now. He is able to fight the dragon, climb the highest mountain, or save all humanity. He is believed in by the one person on this planet who can offer that to him.

We are a picture of God’s tender mercy as woman. I believe that mercy is vulnerable, wise and fierce (meaning it wont leave us to battle alone….ever)! I want to remind all of us that our men need to know we believe in them. If you are reading this most of you have a good man in your life. I hope you hear me on this….he is a GOOD man. He is getting taken out by something in his world. Job, finances, ministry, volunteering, parenting and everything concerning you is constantly being tested. His strength is constantly being tested. Who he is, is constantly being weighed. There is a lot at stake. He has a huge fear that he won’t be able to come through….for you. The question constantly churning for him is “Do I have what it takes?”

Now of course, he must first have that core question answered by God. That deep validation has to come from God first. But God also called us to play an irreplaceable role in our men’s lives. They can not do this without us. It is not good for man to be alone. Genesis…. Then God creates a helper for him. Not hamburger helper, but more like a, ‘I can’t do this without her support, her mercy, her sight, her love, her trust, her respect’….an irreplaceable role kind of helper.

All it takes is one role of the eyes, one correction, one “whatever” out of your mouth, one way of under minding his authority (whether that be with kids, finances, job, or social setting) to leave him feeling completely emasculated. We have the capability to strip them of their strength and masculine role(s) in just one disrespectful gesture. It says, “I do not trust you, I do not need you, I do not believe in you, and I do not respect you.”

But our design is that we are called to fit perfectly together with him and be his helper, mercy, sight, love, trust and respect. No other on this planet is close enough and shares in that oneness with him. No wonder it is so hard. No wonder it does not always come naturally. It is something that must be fought for…chosen. It is one of a very short list of things in this life that are actually worth fighting for.

That saying, behind every good man there is a better woman….is birthed from this very design. We are meant to be one…truly one. We can not do it without each other.

I know as women we tend to immediately go to…he doesn’t deserve my respect or my support in whatever it is. God doesn’t love like that. It is not conditional. We are not called to love like that either. Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. It doesn’t say, if you feel like it, if he deserves it, or if you agree. Your hope can not be in your husband but it can be in God. God is telling you this is the way to go then their will be fruit. You can trust in God to fulfill it if He says to do it.

I know this might be a little harsh for some of us, myself included, but God has moved me to share it. It is worth fighting for.

It is another part of my identity in Christ. I am still the Jennifer that He called not as “hamburger helper” but as “my husband can’t do this without my love, respect, support, sight and mercy.” (even my sons, my brothers in Christ, my dad, etc)

Ask The Question…(repost)

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pHave you ever asked the question?  You know the scariest question you will ever ask God.

God, who do you say that I am?

Who am I to you?

How do you really feel about me?

Now think about that.  If you have not ever done this, it is an essential part of who you are as a human being.  To hear from your Creator who He says that you are and what you mean to Him is the most powerful experience I have ever had.

Some people have a hard time quieting their minds and bodies long enough to really listen.  Even if you are someone who practices this, it can be a challenge.  If you never have but are going to try it, then please know that it takes time.  It isn’t something that you ring the service bell for and God comes running to see what it is you need.  He longs for us to stop and spend time with Him.  He desires to speak into us our very existence and how He feels about us.

I have to say the first time I asked, I was so afraid.  I kept trying to figure out why it was so hard.  Then I asked myself the question, “What are you afraid of Jennifer?”

As soon as I had asked myself this question, I knew that I was afraid I would see disappointment on His face.  It was overwhelmingly unbearable to even think about.  I could not seem to move forward until I dealt with this fear.  I took it to Him.  The fear seemed to be too big, like it eclipsed everything and left the truth in the shadows.

I asked Him for help.  I knew it could not be done in my own strength.  So I had to surrender all my insecurities and really trust Him and trust that His heart is for me not against me.  Once I surrendered that, there was no question about how He truly feels about me.  I felt like I could look up straight into His eyes.  I was met with adoration and an unconditional love that to try to describe with words would cheapen it into something less than what it really was.  I felt like a bride on my wedding day and my groom looking at me like I am the only cherished and treasured thing in his life.  Something changed in me.  I will never forget that moment.

He began to speak to me with and without words.  I knew things by the feeling I had in response to such a love.  There is something irrefutable about who you are in the absolute core of your being when you hear from your God, who He says that you are.  It makes all the other voices, responses from others and even what your past directly reflects about you, take a backseat.  It has made it so much easier for me when my past, or my accuser comes to try and act they have a place to treat me badly, or as though I am less than….I can just say “I am not for sale!  I have been bought and paid for.  If you have an issue with that then you can talk to the guy who purchased it.”

The truest thing about me is that moment when Jesus is gazing into my eyes as though I am His beloved cherished and adored bride.  He would lay down His life for me to get to keep mine.  I am nothing less than how much He loves me.  I am worth nothing less than what my purchaser has paid for me.

Please take the time… to ask the question!

Remind Me Again….Who Am I???

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me water effectOnce again time to revisit…

We should be able to spend a lifetime discovering who we are.  I feel like I spent a lot of that time running from who I was…or at least who I let others, or events tell me I was.  We do not realize how much we seek approval from others.  If someone does not respond to us in the way we had hoped, for some reason we believe that we are less than.  I did that for a big part of my life.  I couldn’t figure out why I could not just get it right, or do better.  It started out as not being able to be a better little girl, daughter, sister, teenager, mother, wife, woman and then just a better human being.  I failed.  Over and over again.  My story and my perceived response from the people around me kept repeating, “you’re doing it wrong!  You are missing the mark.  If you could just try harder and tone back who you are then maybe you could be worthy of a better response. You could be worthy of love.”

I didn’t know that I was seeking some sort of identity and validation in that approval.  I know now that I can not get my life, my worth, or my purpose from any person.  The only one I can get my life from is God.  He is the one who created me.  It wasn’t until I heard Him say to me, “I am God.  Creator of all things.  I created you Jennifer for relationship.  I want to know you.  I want you to know Me.  Nothing that this world can do to you, or that you can do, can change what I created you for, from before the foundations of the earth.  All throughout my Word I speak to you, inviting you into many relationships with me.  So many ways I want to love you.  I am God.  You are My friend, My sister, My servant, My blessed creation, My beloved daughter, My chosen bride and sometimes you are the clay in My hands as I transform you even more into the freedom of your true identity in Me.  No matter what happens…..you are still Jennifer.  You are Mine….just as I  created you to be.”

And that changed everything…

Tempation Is NOT Sin….

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sin womanI miss blogging soooooooooo much!  It is burning with in me again.  Please pray for me during this time of trying to balance my business which is a calling in itself and blogging which has needed to take a back burner.  I know this one is a repost but it keeps coming up and needs to resurface for now.

Seriously, temptation is NOT sinI hate it when Christians judge themselves, or others and they use temptation as their gauge.  Temptation is not you.  It is not God.  Guess who it is?  It is your enemy.  He wants you to think that it is you though.  He wants you to believe that it is who you really are.

It makes it really hard to believe that you have been made new in Christ if you are also believing that every thought that pops in your head is something you are seeking out.  It makes you believe that, that old stuff is still your identity.

I’m sorry guys but I’m going to use men and lust as an example only because it is easy to see, not trying to pick on ya.  I was introduced to pornography when I was five.  It is very hard to unsee something.  But pornography doesn’t have quite the same impact on gals as it does guys, or I would use my own experience.

I have spoken with men who struggle so much with temptation.  They believe that if a thought, or a picture crosses their mind that they have somehow backslidden all the way back to the beginning.  That is a lie.  You are still on the same path.  Those are called tempations not sin.  You are not responsible for repenting for a temptation. Do not own it, or let it own you.  Point that finger right back at your enemy and say it is you who are tempting me!  This is not who I am, it is you.

It is what you choose to do with the temptations that makes the difference.  Even if you get carried away, or caught up in the moment and you catch yourself, that is praiseworthy!  You can not have conviction without the Holy Spirit in your life.  If you get convicted you do not slump over and call yourself pond scum.  You praise God that He is in your life.  The very fact that you are convicted is evidence of that.  “Whew!  Glad I can see the evidence of God in my life right now in this.”  That is what it looks like to walk in your identity in Christ.  It is what being made new and being transformed into His likeness looks like in everyday life.

If the enemy gets away with making you feel like you have backslidden all the way back to the beginning and have made no progress, or the progress you have made was somehow lost, then you are relying on your ownself for your salvation.  That of course is completely wrong.  You would be believing that the work of the cross was not complete.  You would not believe that He is who He said He is, or that He paid for everything with His life and it is finished!  We were redeemed because of His actions, not ours.  We are identified now by His actions and who He is and not our actions.  But what does that look like when you are in the midst of being tempted and it hits you in all the old familiar places?  We have to remember who Jesus is to us and who we are to Him.  He does not call us wretched, filthy, or pond scum after His purchase of us, after we have been made new in Christ.

Let’s not forget that He calls us His sons and daughters, His friend, His Bride, or His blessed creation.  Without Him for sure we are nothing.  Don’t get me wrong.  But I believe that the enemy would try to twist our good hearts that God redeemed in us to turn on ourselves and believe that we are less than who God says that we are.   To make us believe that we have gone all the way back to the beginning of our battle.  That’s a bunch of crap!  He put us on a new path.  We are going to stumble, fall flat on our faces, or even stop and dig ourselves a little pit at times.  But it is His grace that is big enough.  The very fact that we can identify that something is wrong is evidence that He is in us.  It is evidence that we are on a different path and have been made in to something else.  I know I would have no problem living from the old places if I did not have the new.

If we can not see this for ourselves, then how are we going to be able to extend grace to others?  How will we be able to see them how God sees them?  How then will we ever believe that others have been made new?  How will we ever be able to believe that we all have the same enemy and it is not each other? (our battle is truly not with flesh and blood but principalities and powers.)

Temptation is NOT sin!  Temptation comes from “our” enemy and it is used against us more to steal our identities than anything else.

At the end of almost everyday, I have been tempted to:

go to food for comfort

to try to arrange for my own life

to worry about finances

to go to anger instead of taking the time to figure out what is really going on

to judge others or myself

to choose comfort over excellence

to hate instead of love myself

to blame or accuse God

to question God’s heart for me

The fact that I can list those things is more evidence that I have been made new.  I am still Jennifer, beloved daughter of the King of Kings, chosen bride to the Lord of Lords and blessed creation of the Creator of all things.  To believe that I am anything less than His…..would be a lie.

To believe that I have overwritten something that God has made into a brand new creation…..isn’t right either.  Temptation is NOT sin.  The enemy gets away with too much already.  Do not let him get away with lying to you about this.

Prejudice????

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Happy People

I have always known that the color of a persons skin has never mattered to me.  I don’t even notice.  I only see a person.  I am finding out however, I am prejudice against idiocy, cruelty, bullying, selfishness and mean/hater people.  While those are much more justifiable (in my opinion) I do not want to be prejudice.  I don’t care if you believe in God or Jesus, but I want to be like that.  I want to only see people and the beauty in their humanity.  Jesus didn’t only feed the believers.  He didn’t only speak to or heal a select group among the masses.  He certainly didn’t die for only the uncruel nice people.  God was the first one to ever advocate for freedom of choice…He gave us all a free will and still chooses to love us no matter what we choose.  He loves.  I want my first reaction to be love.  Right now it is not.
I want to look at someone and know that they have a story.  I don’t know what has happened to them in their life to shape who they are or what they believe about themselves and/or everybody else.  I don’t know why they made the decision they just made.  I know many people have judged me for things I have said or done.  What I have been through isn’t an excuse but in times of my life it has shaped how I react.  I can not say that I could make the perfect and right choice in every situation.  I do not know what someone else has lived through.  I can not begin to see through their eyes.  I can not begin to be in a place to judge or condemn them.  I want my first reaction to be love.

 

I Forget to Say it…

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andyI forget to say it…when really it is so simple.  I have been so overwhelmed lately by my husbands love for me and for our family.  I just love it and without out it we would be lost.  It is really such an amazing love too.

How is he going to know that he is making a difference in my life, or our kids’ lives if I do not communicate.  Half the time I know that I am just figuring he must know, but reality is that he is most likely getting beat up about it rather than feeling like he is doing a great job.

I took time today to say it.  This was my Facebook post …

I am REALLY loving and appreciating my husband today.  Thank you for going to work everyday.  I was just thinking how it might feel like a thankless job.  You have taken such good care of us over so many years.  I hope that you are never feeling like it doesn’t really matter, or that you are just a paycheck.  Of course, I love and appreciate you for many other reasons too but today realizing I do not want to take for granted a man who has not abandoned his family, financially or otherwise.  Not very many husbands go to work all day and still have real conversation with their wife and kids.  You really know us and invite us to know you. Your investment in us is priceless.  You are the best!

I hope to never leave him feeling taken for granted.  I hope that my neglect doesn’t ever add to his battle against all that tests and weighs him as a man.  I have to work at it.  I have to not forget to say it.

Temptation is NOT Sin…

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sin manI miss blogging soooooooooo much!  It is burning with in me again.  Please pray for me during this time of trying to balance my business which is a calling in itself and blogging which has needed to take a back burner.  I know this one is a repost but it keeps coming up and needs to resurface for now.

Seriously, tempation is NOT sinI hate it when christians judge themselves, or others and they use temptation as their gauge.  Temptation is not you.  It is not God.  Guess who it is?  It is your enemy.  He wants you to think that it is you though.  He wants you to believe that it is who you really are.

It makes it really hard to believe that you have been made new in Christ if you are also believing that every thought that pops in your head is something you are seeking out.  It makes you believe that, that old stuff is still your identity.

I’m sorry guys but I’m going to use men and lust as an example only because it is easy to see, not trying to pick on ya.  I was introduced to pornography when I was five.  It is very hard to unsee something.  But pornography doesn’t have quite the same impact on gals as it does guys or I would use my own experience.

I have spoken with men who struggle so much with temptation.  They believe that if a thought or a picture crosses their mind that they have somehow backslidden all the way back to the beginning.  That is a lie.  You are still on the same path.  Those are called tempations not sin.  You are not responsible for repenting for a temptation. Do not own it, or let it own you.  Point that finger right back at your enemy and say it is you who are tempting me!  This is not who I am, it is you.

It is what you choose to do with the temptations that makes the difference.  Even if you get carried away, or caught up in the moment and you catch yourself, that is praiseworthy!  You can not have conviction without the Holy Spirit in your life.  If you get convicted you do not slump over and call yourself pond scum.  You praise God that He is in your life.  The very fact that you are convicted is evidence of that.  “Whew!  Glad I can see the evidence of God in my life right now in this.”  That is what it looks like to walk in your identity in Christ.  It is what being made new looks like in everyday life.

If the enemy gets away with making you feel like you have backslidden all the way back to the beginning and have made no progress, or the progress you have made was somehow lost, then you are relying on your ownself for your salvation.  That of course is completely wrong.  You would be believing that the work of the cross was not complete.  You would not believe that He is who He said He is, or that He paid for everything with His life and it is finished!  We were redeemed because of His actions, not ours.  We are identified now by His actions and who He is and not our actions.  But what does that look like when you are in the midst of being tempted and it hits you in all the old familiar places?  We have to remember who Jesus is to us and who we are to Him.  He does not call us wretched, or pond scum after His purchase of us, after we have been made new in Christ.

Let’s not forget that He calls us His sons and daughters, His friend, His Bride, or His blessed creation.  Without Him for sure we are nothing.  Don’t get me wrong.  But I believe that the enemy would try to twist our good hearts that God redeemed in us to turn on ourselves and believe that we are less than who God says that we are.   To make us believe that we have gone all the way back to the beginning of our battle.  That’s a bunch of crap!  He put us on a new path.  We are going to stumble, fall flat on our faces, or even stop and dig ourselves a little pit at times.  But it is His grace that is big enough.  The very fact that we can identify that something is wrong is evidence that He is in us.  It is evidence that we are on a different path and have been made in to something else.  I know I would have no problem living from the old places if I did not have the new.

If we can not see this for ourselves, then how are we going to be able to extend grace to others?  How will we be able to see them how God sees them?  How then will we ever believe that others have been made new?  How will we ever be able to believe that we all have the same enemy and it is not each other?

Temptation is NOT sin!  Temptation comes from “our” enemy and it is used against us more to steal our identities than anything else.

At the end of almost everyday, I have been tempted to:

go to food for comfort

to try to arrange for my own life

to worry about finances

to go to anger instead of taking the time to figure out what is really going on

to judge others or myself

to choose comfort over excellence

to hate instead of love myself

to blame or accuse God

to question God’s heart for me

The fact that I can list those things is more evidence that I have been made new.  I am still Jennifer, beloved daughter of the King of Kings, chosen bride to the Lord of Lords and blessed creation of the Creator of all things.  To believe that I am anything less than His…..would be a lie.

An Emotional Affair…

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holding pinkiesWe are talking about emotional affairs. People seem to think that just because there is no sex involved that it is ok. Whether you are a man, or a woman an emotional affair can sneak up on you.

Being a woman I try to be careful to not interpret male emotions.  I try to make sure that I do not expect men to be women.  God created us with distinct differences so that they could come together and make one whole unit.  I have worked with women regarding emotional affairs.  But one thing that I think is across the board no matter male, or female that we must recognize…sex, whether you have it or not, is emotional to both men and women.  We tend to think that just because we have not done the physical act that we have not united ourselves to another.  That is where we have to be watchful.  God’s design for sex, unity, marriage is 1 + 1 = 1.  With in that final one is actually 3, husband, wife and God.  We forget we are dealing with a supernatural force.  Just like when we put money, people, work, or whatever it may be before God we are committing adultery, at least that is what the bible says that God says.  God is always looking at our hearts.  He said if you have looked on a woman with lust then you have already committed adultery.  I am not saying that in a condemning way and neither is God.  It is to reveal the way the enemy has snuck in and tricked us into thinking it is ok when really it is stealing something from us.  I like to show women that it is easy to look at that passage and think we are not being spoken to as women, but really if you look at the heart of it women can just as easily say, if you have given your heart, or emotions over to a man who is not God, or your husband, then you have committed adultery in your heart.  But again I do not believe those are gender specific.  Either way, God is trying to get us to see what is taking place in our hearts not just physically.

We are first married to God.  We are the Bride of Christ.  We put no other gods, or anything before Him, or in His rightful place.  Again, this is not meant to feel condemning.

A personal example…I, myself, am dealing with my own heart and God right now.  I have a business that is thriving beyond what I had imagined so quickly.  God is blessing it everyday.  But I am trying to find the balance.  I am being romanced by success and have slowly noticed God taking a backseat because I have no time.  I am not having a physical affair but both God and my husband can feel an absence of my heart…..to be really real with you, so do I.  I am even missing myself.  My point here is that no matter what it is your enemy is going to try to break up the unity you have with your God and with your spouse.  He will trick and sneak and you will not even notice it is there until you find that you are grasping to keep hold of that thing that used to make you feel good.   Going to God’s word helps to put that truth in front of us so that the lie can be exposed not to condemn.

When walking with women through ending an emotional affair we have to recognize they have given over a part of themselves that doesn’t belong to them.  They took what was God’s or their husband’s and gave it to and/or tied themselves to someone else.  Recognizing what really has taken place and then renouncing those ties…cutting them off and giving them back to God and then asking God to heal.  Then place the work, blood and power of the cross between you and them and all the spirits, or evil devices that come against you is a great place to start.

You may find that placing the work, blood and power of the cross between you two at first feels harsh, or unnecessary because you feel no ill will toward them.  But the reality is you are not fighting a battle between flesh and blood but against principalities and powers.  So far the only thing on record that can defeat principalities and powers is the work, blood, and power of the cross.  It will also help you with those ties that will try to still give the illusion that they are there.  Jesus gave us the perfect example of that when He laid His life down for His bride, the church……the ones who were crucifying Him.  He still chose to be married knowing that His bride was being deceived and that He was suffering at her hand.

It is a lot like coaching a teen boys football team.  Over and over again they let their running back get clobbered because the line is not doing what they are supposed to.  In order to coach the linebackers you have to give them a bigger picture about what is taking place.  The minute you give them the example … that the running back is their mom and they are their dad.  What would happen if you were not where you were supposed to be, doing what your are supposed to do?  Then your mom would be standing there alone with the entire opposing team coming after her to take her out.  Now, it doesn’t matter if they are from a great home, or a broken home with an absent father.  Every boy on that team gets exactly what it looks like and how important their commitment to their position is to the team…the unit.  I can give that same example but I am the linebacker these last few months.  I am leaving my husband vulnerable to getting taken out by his opposition if I am not where I am supposed to be in our unit(y) and that includes my relationship with God.

I hope you can feel safe here and not feel condemned.  We are all getting tested, weighted, attacked and taken out.  But we need each other.  We need different perspectives of the same story.  We need others to hold us up when we can not stand and we need to know that we will always be pointed back to God’s deepest heart for us.  Nothing that I will share about what you are struggling with is not anything I am not, on some level, fighting against too.

What you heard isn’t necessarily what he said….

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fire-heartI think something must be in the air as of late.  I have had to really concentrate to make sure that what I heard my husband say is actually what he said and not just what I heard.  Does that make sense?

It can hit me in either my wounded places, other places where I am struggling, or just get randomly filtered enough to distort what he is trying to say.  Lately I am really struggling with that.  I have to make a conscious effort to not be offended or carry around something that is not mine to carry.  I have to be extra aware that I do not put something on him that is not his either.

I know that I am not the only one who struggles with this.  For what ever reason it has been really powerful lately.  So I thought I better slip in some time and blog about it.

It reminds me of the texts on my phone.  I can either read it and think “sheesh what a jerk”, or I can stop and read the text from the perspective of this is a man who loves me and is in love with me.  That changes everything.

In order to do that I have to keep my simple truths in front of me.

1.   My God is for me not against me.

2.   His heart toward me is good.

3.   My husband is for me not against me.

4.   His heart for me is good.

5.   We both have the same enemy and it is not each other.

If there is any tension taking place in your marriage, or even your relationship with
God.  Please check and make sure that what you heard is what he (He) was really saying.