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If I could only offer one piece of wisdom it would have to be “to seek out God in everything”.  We tend to look at any situation from the viewpoint of the world and then try to make God fit into it.  I think that is one of the reasons we end up feeling so defeated with a lot of these things that take us out.   To SEEK God out first would look like…

Let’s take women and romance novels, movies, or emotional affairs.  Now these things in and of themselves are not all together bad.  It is where a lot of us take them, or even pursue them in our hearts that gets us into trouble.

For many of us who struggle with going to an unhealthy place with romantic things we need to ask “Why?”

If we want to know about ourselves we have to go to God and His design and intent for us.  Go back to Genesis.  He created us in His image and He said that it was good.  So somewhere in this mess I am in, I have to find God’s design, His heart and His intentions for me.

We were created to shine!  We were created to be beautiful.  We were created to reflect the beauty of a beautiful God for the world around to notice and experience.  We are captivating because He is captivating.

We were also created for relationship.  If He had wanted to just have servants who HAD to love Him He could have created robots or something.  He wanted a meaningful relationship with us.  He wanted something beautiful and deep that could only be birthed out of us having a free will.  He wants to be chosen.

He also is a jealous God.  Meaning, He wants to be our only God and have us only give ourselves (our worship, trust, adoration and submission) to Him and no other.

He wants to be pursued.  He wants us to seek Him out.  To move toward Him intentionally.  You can not seek by accident.  It is a pursuit of Him and His heart He is after.  “Seek Me with your whole heart and you will find Me”….that kind of seeking/pursuing.

Now…..doesn’t that sound like every girls dream?  Isn’t that the same stuff we are after in our romance novels and movies?

1.  To be beautiful

2.  To be chosen

3.  To be the only one and no other

4.  To be pursued

The important thing here is to acknowledge that list of four things is not bad.  It is a Godly design.  He created it and said it was good.  But what we have to dissect is where along the line did we take it to an ungodly place?  We tend to throw the whole thing out and even learn to fear those desires and yearnings only because we ended up in an ungodly place with it.   Obviously that was not God’s intent so we have to follow it back to see where we veered off.

Let’s take a quick look at men.  Let’s face it, it’s so much easier to see in the other gender.  Let’s look at men and pornography.  The desire for beauty and sex is a Godly design.  Eve was wearing no giftwrap when God gave Adam his gift.  He created us in His image and said it was good.  So somewhere along the line the enemy comes in and deceives, or tricks us into taking a Godly design to an ungodly place.

There are many reasons men go to pornography.  Most of them have little to do with actual sex.   A lot of the time it is a way to medicate or sedate themselves.  Just like drugs, alcohol, or food comforts.  It can portray itself as a safe place to not experience rejection.  In someways offers temporary relief and validation.

That is just like us and our romance novels and movies.  We are trying to medicate, sedate, or validate a desire that is at the core of who we are created like.  Except we do not take that ache to our designer.  We try to make sense of it in our own understanding.  Our understanding reeks of this world and what we can figure out.

I know even when I am just irritated with my husband that I need to go into another room and take it to God right then and there.  “What is going on in MY heart God ?  Show me.”   When I take it to Him first and seek Him it is always good.  It always ends up being something in me that I was not aware of.  Sometimes it might be an ache to be seen and known…..you know, one of those moments when we just can not figure out why he can not read our mind?  Because of course I haven’t communicated anything to him, mostly because I didn’t even know myself.  Then God asks me to trust Him and trust my husband with my heart.  I have only had good fruit from this way of doing things.

It took me a long time to get there and I do not always get it right.  It takes lots and lots of practice.  Lots and lots of getting it wrong and going back to make it right.  Accepting the invitation of tons of grace that He has for me because His heart for me is good.  If we seek Him (He is truth and light) with our whole hearts we will find Him.  We need Him desperately.

So if we start with God’s heart for us and His viewpoint first, then try to make the situation make sense, there is always an answer.