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Ok, so now that we have had the (blog) Understanding men is to understand God’s heart, I’d like to talk to some of the things that seem to come against this.  I have had women say things like,

If my husband would talk to me like that I would be able to be the wife I am supposed to be.”


“If my husband was like yours then our marriage would be totally different.”

I know they think that, but it just isn’t true.  If you are looking to your man as savior for your marriage, it’s going to tank!  He can not be, nor wants to fill those shoes.  Jesus is our only Savior.  We can catch ourselves saying things like,

If only my husband would change…..

If only we had more money…….

If only I could lose weight……

If only I could just get it right………

Then my life would be better, or be what it is supposed to look like.  We can not look to others, or other things to save us.  When I changed my view to Jesus as my Savior for everything, my life changed dramatically.

In my marriage it started out with me surrendering all of the things that my husband struggles with.  I was exhausting myself by praying for God to help him.  I began to realize that I was looking to that FIX to be what makes all the difference in my marriage and my life.  Are you kidding?  I was looking to something other than Jesus and the work of the cross to save me and my marriage?  Ugh!  I know better.  Nothing, and I mean nothing can compete with the cross and the work of the cross.  Not the religious and the learned, not all the forces of evil and sin, not even death was able to defeat it.  We have to take our salvation and our Savior more seriously.  We have to stop waiting for something or someone to make things work, or things right.  That someone came and those somethings were conquered….defeated…..FINISHED!  As Jesus puts it.

I wanted to address this for those who missed the deeper point in the last blog.  There is no way around looking at yourself and what you are choosing.  This is not coming from some religious self-righteous place.  This is coming from, a place where I have been betrayed, beaten, humiliated, abandoned and thrown away.  Jesus came and said,

You are worth Me being betrayed, beaten, humiliated, abandoned and thrown away.  I saved you with My life so that you could live. I laid down my life because I love you and you are worth it.  I have purchased you with the ultimate price.  Nothing else could save you but Me.  I am your one and only Savior.

So when those IF ONLY’s are keeping you from the life, or marriage you were meant for.  You can realize what it is you are choosing.  You can get your eyes off of others and other things to save you.  You can evaluate how you can focus more on your Savior and who He really is in your life.  Ask Him how He can save you.  Not how can He change others, or the circumstances.  Find out who He is calling you to be.  Then be that…..and let yourself be saved.