Have you ever asked the question? You know the scariest question you will ever ask God.
God, who do you say that I am?
Who am I to you?
How do you really feel about me?
Now think about that. If you have not ever done this, it is an essential part of who you are as a human being. To hear from your Creator who He says that you are and what you mean to Him is the most powerful experience I have ever had.
Some people have a hard time quieting their minds and bodies long enough to really listen. Even if you are someone who practices this, it can be a challenge. If you never have but are going to try it, then please know that it takes time. It isn’t something that you ring the service bell for and God comes running to see what it is you need. He longs for us to stop and spend time with Him. He desires to speak into us our very existence and how He feels about us.
I have to say the first time I asked, I was so afraid. I kept trying to figure out why it was so hard. Then I asked myself the question, “What are you afraid of Jennifer?”
As soon as I had asked myself this question, I knew that I was afraid I would see disappointment on His face. It was overwhelmingly unbearable to even think about. I could not seem to move forward until I dealt with this fear. I took it to Him. The fear seemed to be too big, like it eclipsed everything and left the truth in the shadows.
I asked Him for help. I knew it could not be done in my own strength. So I had to surrender all my insecurities and really trust Him and trust that His heart is for me not against me. Once I surrendered that, there was no question about how He truly feels about me. I felt like I could look up straight into His eyes. I was met with adoration and an unconditional love that to try to describe with words would cheapen it into something less than what it really was. I felt like a bride on my wedding day and my groom looking at me like I am the only cherished and treasured thing in his life. Something changed in me. I will never forget that moment.
He began to speak to me with and without words. I knew things by the feeling I had in response to such a love. There is something irrefutable about who you are in the absolute core of your being when you hear from your God, who He says that you are. It makes all the other voices, responses from others and even what your past directly reflects about you, take a backseat. It has made it so much easier for me when my past, or my accuser comes to try and act they have a place to treat me badly, or as though I am less than….I can just say “I am not for sale! I have been bought and paid for. If you have an issue with that then you can talk to the guy who purchased it.”
The truest thing about me is that moment when Jesus is gazing into my eyes as though I am His beloved cherished and adored bride. He would lay down His life for me to get to keep mine. I am nothing less than how much He loves me. I am worth nothing less than what my purchaser has paid for me.
Please take the time… to ask the question!